Friday, July 25, 2014

Throwback Thursday begets Frustrated Friday

Typically I'd describe myself as someone who can "live in the moment" most of the time. To me this means that I can sit in a situation, take a mental step back, and appreciate the good things about what is going on. And if nothing else, appreciate that the moment will perhaps become a funny story years from now. 

     Example: yesterday my preschooler finally pooped in the potty on her own terms. And then refused to flush it until Daddy could come home and see her amazing accomplishment. Oh the joy.

     But I don't know anyone who can do this 100% of the time. And it seems I'm having some trouble today. And all because a friend posted some photos from several years ago that got me reminiscing. The photos are of me and 3 other friends, all goofing around and posing in the beautiful Santa Barbara mountains. This was before kids for me, even before my wedding. So thinking back on those days now, the first thought that comes to mind is, "wow, how carefree was my life!" 

     I'm sure my 2009 self didn't think that way. I was planning a wedding, dealing with a job that had a fair share of stress involved, and all the normal drama that is a 20-something life. It was just so different than my life today. And normally I don't miss it - I'm so happy and fortunate with so much in my life, I rarely think back longingly to kid-less days. But it's just one of those Fridays.

     Perhaps it's that I'm pregnant and dealing with the fun emotional roller coaster that is pregnancy hormones. Or perhaps it's that instead of getting some of those projects around the house accomplished each day (think folding laundry, picking up toys, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning anything really) I am taking a nap if I can find a time when both girls are resting. Or it could be that my preschooler is becoming more demanding in her wants ("that was fun, mom. But what is the NEXT art project we are going to do together?" every 10 minutes) and that my baby is actually now a toddler and has the mindset of, "why talk when I can just screech and get attention?"

So my life is full. And I love seeing the smiling faces of my daughters or delighting with them when they learn a new skill (my toddler just figured out how to say "please" yesterday, although it comes out more of a "piss") or when they make the connections that show they are taking everything in and learning all the freaking time. It's priceless. But doesn't everybody have days where they kinda wish they could put their current life on hold, and go back in time for a single day and live their old life with their current knowledge and experience? Wouldn't we appreciate things so much more knowing what we do now about life?

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